{"id":33214,"date":"2026-06-12T11:00:54","date_gmt":"2026-06-12T11:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/2026\/06\/12\/on-the-10th-anniversary-of-the-pulse-nightclub-shooting-survivors-describe-how-their-lives-have-changed\/"},"modified":"2026-06-12T11:00:54","modified_gmt":"2026-06-12T11:00:54","slug":"on-the-10th-anniversary-of-the-pulse-nightclub-shooting-survivors-describe-how-their-lives-have-changed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/2026\/06\/12\/on-the-10th-anniversary-of-the-pulse-nightclub-shooting-survivors-describe-how-their-lives-have-changed\/","title":{"rendered":"On the 10th anniversary of the Pulse nightclub shooting, survivors describe how their lives have changed"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div data-editable=\"content\" itemprop=\"articleBody\" data-reorderable=\"content\">\n<div data-editable=\"aiSummary\" class=\"article__ai-summary-wrapper\">\n<div 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fill=\"currentColor\"\/>\n<\/svg><br \/>\n<\/span><br \/>\n            <span>Summary<\/span><br \/>\n        <\/strong><br \/>\n            <span class=\"ai-article-summary__toggle-caret-up\" aria-label=\"Toggle Article Summary\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"icon-ui-caret-up\" width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewbox=\"0 0 24 24\"><path d=\"M12.478 6.21a.637.637 0 00-.946 0L2.206 16.229c-.225.243-.28.633-.093.91.237.355.7.385.975.089l8.917-9.579 8.878 9.537c.225.243.589.301.847.101a.721.721 0 00.082-1.048L12.478 6.211z\"\/><\/svg><br \/>\n<\/span><br \/>\n            <span class=\"ai-article-summary__toggle-caret-down\" aria-label=\"Toggle Article Summary\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"icon-ui-caret-down\" width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewbox=\"0 0 24 24\"><path d=\"M12.478 17.218a.637.637 0 01-.946 0L2.206 7.2c-.225-.242-.28-.632-.093-.91a.613.613 0 01.975-.088l8.917 9.579 8.878-9.538c.225-.242.589-.3.847-.1.33.255.357.752.082 1.048l-9.334 10.027z\"\/><\/svg><br \/>\n<\/span><br \/>\n    <\/button><\/p>\n<div class=\"ai-article-summary__collapsible\">\n<ul class=\"ai-article-summary__items\" data-editable=\"settings\">\n<li class=\"ai-article-summary__item\">Ten years after the Pulse nightclub shooting that killed 49 people, survivors share their ongoing journeys through physical and emotional recovery.<\/li>\n<li class=\"ai-article-summary__item\">Brandon Wolf channels his grief into LGBTQ+ advocacy after losing his best friend in the attack.<\/li>\n<li class=\"ai-article-summary__item\">Keinon Carter endured daily physical and mental recovery, and Tiara Parker faced survivor&#8217;s guilt after losing her cousin in the tragedy.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\n            <span class=\"ai-article-summary__disclaimer-text\">AI-generated summary was reviewed by a CNN editor.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/editor-note\/instances\/cmq741kat000d3j6slxltze1q@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"editor-note\" class=\"editor-note-elevate vossi-editor-note_elevate inline-placeholder \" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n    <span class=\"editor-note__prefix vossi-editor-note_elevate__prefix\">EDITOR\u2019S NOTE:<\/span>\u00a0 <em>This story contains descriptions of gun violence that some readers may find disturbing.<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72r4wv00003b6rqzpajhk7@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Bass pumped through Pulse nightclub in the early hours of June 12, 2016, as more than 300 people packed one of Orlando\u2019s most popular gay bars for a night of Latin music and hastily-mixed cocktails during the excitement of Pride month.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72r6vf00023b6rkmwav3o1@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Just before 2 a.m., the din of the club was violently interrupted by the sound of gunfire. Keinon Carter and his friend Antonio Brown emerged from the restroom to investigate the sound, only to be suddenly struck by a line of bullets.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72r6vf00033b6rk56qhdo9@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Over several hours, as Carter faded in and out of consciousness on the floor, a 29-year-old gunman <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnn.com\/2016\/06\/13\/us\/orlando-victims-profiles\/index.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">killed 49 people<\/a> and injured more than 50 others before law enforcement breached the club wall with an armored vehicle and killed him. Carter would later learn Brown had not survived.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72r6vf00043b6rrepz2ww9@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            At the time, the attack was the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnn.com\/2016\/06\/12\/us\/orlando-nightclub-shooting\/index.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">deadliest mass shooting in US history<\/a> and the most violent terrorist attack on US soil since 9\/11. The attack deeply wounded Orlando\u2019s LGBTQ+ community, as the majority of those killed were young gay and Hispanic men, and the case was investigated by the FBI as both terrorism and a hate crime.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72r6vf00053b6r98evirkt@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            No survivor could have predicted how their lives would change in the months and years after such a traumatic event.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72r6vf00063b6rd4vzwzmv@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Some, like Carter, were forced by debilitating injuries to confront the reality of the attack every day. Others, like Tiara Parker, suppressed their grief and trauma until the weight of it all finally brought them tumbling to their knees. A handful, including Brandon Wolf, have coped by trying to build a world where such violence would not happen again.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72r6vf00073b6rfh08lv9d@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Ten years after the shooting, survivors who spoke to CNN detailed their complicated \u2013 and still unfolding \u2013 recoveries, as well as their struggles with the guilt of living through the attack that took the lives of lovers, relatives and close friends.\n    <\/p>\n<h2 class=\"subheader inline-placeholder subheader-elevate vossi-subheader_elevate vossi-subheader_elevate--size-h2\" data-editable=\"text\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/subheader\/instances\/cmq6yiwv100003b6ruuyghyvl@published\" data-component-name=\"subheader\" id=\"brandon-wolf-an-advocate-fueled-by-a-whispered-promise\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n        Brandon Wolf, an advocate fueled by a whispered promise<br \/>\n<\/h2>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8bp9i900083b6rja19h1xu@published\" class=\"image-elevate vossi-image_elevate  image__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-name=\"060326-MA-US_PULSE-Survivors_Brandon-2-highres.jpg\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.75\" data-original-height=\"2250\" data-original-width=\"3000\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-brandon-2-highres.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\">\n<div class=\"image__container \" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-brandon-2-highres.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-brandon-2-highres.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1159\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-brandon-2-highres.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1159,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1093\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-brandon-2-highres.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1316\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-brandon-2-highres.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1316,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-brandon-2-highres.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\" alt=\"Brandon Wolf sits for a portrait in his home in Washington, DC. Ten years after Pulse, he says, \" everything=\"\" about=\"\" my=\"\" life=\"\" is=\"\" really=\"\" different:=\"\" the=\"\" work=\"\" that=\"\" i=\"\" do=\"\" every=\"\" day=\"\" way=\"\" show=\"\" up=\"\" in=\"\" world=\"\" what=\"\" important=\"\" to=\"\" me.=\"\" class=\"image__dam-img image__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"2250\" width=\"3000\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq6yjzg400023b6ry9s3djb5@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Today, Wolf is living out a career his younger self would not have felt capable of.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg300093b6rwa3c1wdc@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            In the summer of 2016, Wolf had pulled enough espresso shots and whipped so many caramel-drizzled Frappuccinos that the 27-year-old had been promoted to district manager of several Starbucks in Orlando, including one just down the street from Pulse.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000a3b6rj2uwmj3z@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            He was steadily climbing the company ladder, well on his way to achieving his goal of working at Starbucks headquarters in Seattle and owning a little house in the suburbs, perhaps with a Subaru parked in the driveway.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000b3b6rvwcgbkqc@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            He had in recent years become best friends with an effervescent 32-year-old man named Christopher Leinonen, whose nickname was \u201cDrew.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000c3b6r6qi9m8ak@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cHe was one of the first people to challenge me to be the most unapologetic version of myself,\u201d said Wolf. \u201cWe were inseparable for years.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000d3b6rik2gqzjc@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            The pair became so inseparable Wolf got an apartment two doors down from Leinonen\u2019s. They could burst in and out of each other\u2019s front door like sitcom characters, always able to peek out the window to see if the other was home.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000e3b6rq2roorqv@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            On the night of June 12, Wolf had invited Leinonen and his boyfriend, 22-year-old Juan Ramon Guerrero, to Pulse. He had hoped his friends could act as a buffer between him and his ex-boyfriend, whom he was meeting at the club that night.\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8bm97r00023b6rdku8qkwu@published\" class=\"image_large-elevate vossi-image_large-elevate  image_large__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-name=\"Wolf_5.jpg\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.6966666666666667\" data-original-height=\"2090\" data-original-width=\"3000\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/wolf-5.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n<div class=\"image_large__container \" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image_large__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/wolf-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/wolf-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/wolf-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/wolf-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/wolf-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/wolf-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\" alt=\"Christopher (Drew) Leinonen, Juan Ramon Guerrero and Brandon Wolf were an inseparable trio.\" class=\"image_large__dam-img image_large__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image_large__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"2090\" width=\"3000\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000f3b6r7zq93e39@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            In the years since, his memory has vividly preserved some moments from the shooting, while others seem to lie just out of reach. He can still clearly remember where he was when the shooting began: in the restroom, washing his hands. His eyes had rested on a flimsy plastic cup that had been abandoned on the sink, holding ragged lime slices and a slush of ice that was causing little beads of condensation to form on its sides.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000g3b6rohjtgy4b@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            What he cannot recall, though, are the faces of terrified people who rushed into the bathroom and huddled alongside him. Realizing he needed to escape, Wolf rushed for an exit door.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000h3b6rqf4rdgeo@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            He had no time to find Leinonen and Guerrero, whom he had left on the dance floor to enjoy one last song.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000i3b6rkxlzl6pd@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cNothing really prepares you for going out for a drink with your friends and then having to call their parents hours later to tell them that their kids are not coming home,\u201d Wolf said. \u201cThe way that reshapes what\u2019s important to you, the way it reshapes what you see as success in your life, is really profound.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000j3b6rx7fu0kn5@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            In the days leading up to a joint funeral service for Leinonen and Guerrero, Wolf struggled to write a eulogy that captured who \u201cDrew\u201d was to him. He had always been Wolf\u2019s greatest champion and had recently told Wolf he deserved to dream bigger about his future.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000k3b6r4sm3f01f@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            As Wolf approached Leinonen\u2019s casket on the day of the funeral, he was overcome with all of the things he wished he had said to his friend. It was the last time they would be together after spending every day just yards apart.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000l3b6rfkq49dhb@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Leaning over Leinonen\u2019s casket, Wolf felt moved to make a promise to his friend. He whispered: \u201cI will never stop fighting for a world you would be proud of.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8bmjio00043b6rqcs1xzx8@published\" class=\"image-elevate vossi-image_elevate  image__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-name=\"GettyImages-1449132244.jpg\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.6173333333333333\" data-original-height=\"1852\" data-original-width=\"3000\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1449132244.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\">\n<div class=\"image__container \" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1449132244.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1449132244.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1159\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1449132244.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1159,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1093\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1449132244.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1316\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1449132244.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1316,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1449132244.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\" alt=\"Brandon Wolf was among several survivors of the Pulse and Club Q shootings to testify during a House Oversight Committee hearing titled \" the=\"\" rise=\"\" of=\"\" anti-lgbtqi=\"\" extremism=\"\" and=\"\" violence=\"\" in=\"\" united=\"\" states=\"\" on=\"\" december=\"\" washington=\"\" dc.=\"\" class=\"image__dam-img image__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"1852\" width=\"3000\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000m3b6rulyn83ii@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Since that day, Wolf has grasped onto those parting words.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000n3b6reiuatclg@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            For about three years after the shooting, Wolf volunteered for local political campaigns, searching for somewhere to direct his grief and anger. His work led him to become the press secretary for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.eqfl.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Equality Florida<\/a>, an LGBTQ+ civil rights nonprofit, and later the national press secretary for the Human Rights Campaign in Washington, DC.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000o3b6rzt1mlm5r@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Alongside Leinonen\u2019s mother, he co-founded a nonprofit, <a href=\"https:\/\/thedruproject.org\/about\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Dru Project<\/a>, in part giving scholarships to students they believe exemplify Drew\u2019s spirit. He documented his experience at Pulse \u2013 and his unconditional love for Leinonen \u2013 in his memoir, <a href=\"https:\/\/brandonwolf.us\/a-place-for-us\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u201cA Place for Us.\u201d<\/a>\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000p3b6rdin6pqq3@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Last month, Wolf announced he will move back home to Orlando to <a href=\"https:\/\/eqfl.org\/brandon-wolf-returns-to-florida-frontlines\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">work again for Equality Florida<\/a> as its senior director of communications strategy.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg3000q3b6r3odyot7v@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            When he announced the move, Wolf nodded to Pulse, saying the aftermath taught him \u201cwhat it looks like when communities refuse to give up on one another, when communities choose love over hate.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg4000r3b6r3dwmn0zo@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Wolf still grapples with the slow fading of his memories. He hoards old phones, hoping to find a voicemail that will capture the high-pitched, almost squeaky tone that would fill Leinonen\u2019s voice when he was excited to tell Wolf something.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg4000s3b6ryqpxpoip@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            He misses the tight-lipped smile Guerrero would give when he was trying to hide his braces, or the way Leinonen would walk ahead of them on giggly nights out, bouncing up on his toes as if he was about to float away.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg4000t3b6rehybilmy@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Before Pulse, Wolf\u2019s world revolved around his friendship with Leinonen. Now, he lives to honor it.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72rsg4000u3b6rxc4j04sf@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cI don\u2019t think I was ever really the protagonist in my own story,\u201d Wolf said of his life before Pulse. \u201cI think that was actually Drew and I\u2019m just the narrator, and it took Pulse for me to find that voice.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8bp4y400063b6rbwurmh8g@published\" class=\"image-elevate vossi-image_elevate  image__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-name=\"060326-MA-US_PULSE-Survivors_Keinon-01.jpg\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.75\" data-original-height=\"2250\" data-original-width=\"3000\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-keinon-01.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\">\n<div class=\"image__container \" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-keinon-01.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-keinon-01.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1159\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-keinon-01.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1159,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1093\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-keinon-01.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1316\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-keinon-01.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1316,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-keinon-01.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\" alt=\"Keinon Carter sits for a portrait at home in Orlando, Florida. His recovery has taught him to \" focus=\"\" on=\"\" me=\"\" first.=\"\" class=\"image__dam-img image__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"2250\" width=\"3000\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq6ykpqe00063b6rt2x9eafp@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Carter\u2019s scant memories from after he was shot feel like something he has only seen in movies: scenes of the dark club were framed by his slowly-blinking eyelids, his vision blurring as he faded in and out of awareness.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72t36f001v3b6ruu3a48zu@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            He had fallen to the floor near a bar where go-go dancers would usually be twisting and turning under beams of strobing light. While trying to calm his breathing, he heard the gunman walking close to him, seizing him with horror.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2000w3b6rdyflsz7d@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            In a split second, he felt the sharp impact of several more bullets hitting his body.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2000y3b6rm4y04eci@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            A fog enveloped his mind, and he blacked out again.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2000z3b6rb7ba2pj3@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            After arriving at the emergency room hours later, Carter had been rushed in and out of surgery in an attempt to revive him and halt his internal bleeding. Bullets had cracked his pelvis, shattered the back of his spinal column and torn through his leg, intestines and kidney.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf200103b6r170j8i2h@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Later, at the hospital, a nurse affirmed the worst fears of Carter\u2019s sister, Shawnna Benbow: her brother was dead.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf200113b6rbkmflrzx@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            No more could be done, the nurse told her. Her brother hadn\u2019t made it.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf200123b6r84uh6jed@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            The nurse took Benbow to a solitary gurney where Carter was, draped in a white sheet.  His sister snatched the sheet back in disbelief, only to see his blank face seemingly devoid of life.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf200133b6rs24tdmsh@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            But as she sobbed over his body, she was shocked to see Carter\u2019s head move up and down, and he gently squeezed her hand.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf200143b6rp1pbe2de@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Desperate to believe he was still alive, Benbow called in a crowd of doctors and nurses who looked on in shock as Carter slowly twitched his toes and lifted his thumb.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf200153b6rgu6is82g@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cTake him back,\u201d Benbow demanded of the doctors, she recalled saying in the 2022 documentary <a href=\"https:\/\/watch.eventive.org\/survivingpulse\/play\/6660b9ebd33e24009fca6e99\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u201cSurviving Pulse: Life After a Mass Shooting.\u201d<\/a> \u201cTake him back into surgery. Do whatever you need to do to save my brother\u2019s life.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf200163b6rb19mb9an@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Over the next few weeks, Carter remained in a coma as surgeons tried to repair his organs and reconstruct his shattered bones. When he regained consciousness a month later, his eyes were flooded by the stark, bright light of a hospital room.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf200173b6r8ycx20d8@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            At 31 years old, his slender, 6\u20194\u201d body was almost unrecognizable to him. He had undergone several more surgeries and now bore the scars to prove it. He would have to wear a colostomy bag. It was possible that he could never walk again.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf200183b6runrpyznx@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cIt was very, very scary,\u201d he said. \u201cI wasn\u2019t prepared.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf200193b6r4g48zelb@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            A month had passed since the shooting. But outside, the city of Orlando had been reckoning with its horrific losses, holding heart-wrenching vigils, hearing emotional speeches calling for an end to anti-gay hatred and gun violence, and splashing rainbows on flags, business windows and makeshift memorials that dotted the streets. Carter missed it all.\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8bprv6000a3b6rbkfjs8vc@published\" class=\"image-elevate vossi-image_elevate  image__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-name=\"GettyImages-540005798.jpg\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.6673333333333333\" data-original-height=\"2002\" data-original-width=\"3000\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540005798.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\">\n<div class=\"image__container \" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540005798.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540005798.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1159\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540005798.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1159,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1093\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540005798.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1316\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540005798.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1316,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540005798.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\" alt=\"Handheld candles illuminate the faces of mourners during a vigil outside the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts the day after the Pulse nightclub shooting.\" class=\"image__dam-img image__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"2002\" width=\"3000\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2001a3b6rq4pf4kgk@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cThere was a time in the hospital where my friends and my sister didn\u2019t allow me to see anything,\u201d Carter recalled. He had no phone, no TV and no social media. \u201cI didn\u2019t even know my friend Antonio Brown was dead.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2001b3b6rz0ku1hu6@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Carter had only recently met Brown, a 30-year-old Army Reserve captain, and the two had been quick to form a friendship. Though they had only known each other for a few months, they spent almost every day together, Carter said.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2001c3b6rjqsrk6k2@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cIt just hurt real bad because I felt like I really, really, really, really, really, really lost a good one, and there\u2019s no explanation for it,\u201d he said.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2001d3b6r9qa7qhz9@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            He reentered the world after two months in the hospital with a heavy heart and a profound task of shouldering his mental and physical recovery.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2001e3b6rcjtqreb7@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cThe healing starts as soon as you leave that hospital,\u201d he said. \u201cYou\u2019re trying to heal your mental and your physical at the same time. They both coexist.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2001f3b6rdkmhe9hk@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            One blessing, Carter said, has been the support of his medical providers. By the time he left the hospital, he had racked up more than $200,000 of out-of-pocket medical expenses. The hospital waived his bill \u2013 and continues to do so as he gets ongoing care.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2001g3b6ro2w1255k@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            At home, Carter began an hour-by-hour adjustment to his new life. With the help of his boyfriend, he learned to navigate his home with a wheelchair. He could not wear his usual clothes, choosing to only wear loose clothing to accommodate a new colostomy bag and surgical scars.\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8bqi9w000d3b6r0homkcjq@published\" class=\"image_large-elevate vossi-image_large-elevate  image_large__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-name=\"GettyImages-1229067277.jpg\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.767\" data-original-height=\"2301\" data-original-width=\"3000\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1229067277.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n<div class=\"image_large__container \" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image_large__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1229067277.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1229067277.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1229067277.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1229067277.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1229067277.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-1229067277.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\" alt=\"Survivor Keinon Carter speaks at an event held by Gays Against Guns in New York City on the one-year anniversary of the shooting at Pulse.\" class=\"image_large__dam-img image_large__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image_large__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"2301\" width=\"3000\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2001h3b6rqt0mc8rb@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            In the first year, he underwent more than two dozen surgeries to correct the damage the bullets had done. As he started to learn to walk again, he willed himself to push through the unbearable pins-and-needles sensation that radiated through his legs when he challenged them to bear his full weight.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf2001i3b6rneyz06ew@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            When he attempted to return to work, his body sent out distress signals \u2013 a deep ache in his back, rushes of pain spreading from his leg up his spine. He gave up his hope of returning to his livelihood in construction and spent years unable to work.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf3001j3b6rj6twzn1t@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            As he pushed his body toward recovery, he couldn\u2019t help but feel anger over the amount of time it had taken for him to receive medical treatment on the day of the shooting.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf3001k3b6r2nxum1u2@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Carter is one of several survivors and victims\u2019 family members who believe if police confronted the shooter sooner, their loved ones would still be alive or survivors would have suffered less. He was among a large group of plaintiffs who <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnn.com\/2018\/06\/08\/us\/pulse-shooting-civil-lawsuit\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">accused the city in a lawsuit<\/a> of failing to properly train their officers to react to active shooters, and alleged officers failed to immediately neutralize the shooter. The suit was ultimately denied by an appeals court.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72wenx001y3b6r3638912v@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n             <br \/>In the years that followed, law enforcement agencies nationwide changed their response to active shootings, more clearly recognizing that the first officers on scene should move to confront the shooter immediately, even if alone.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf3001l3b6rfpttpaix@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            If it was up to Carter, he would leave what happened at Pulse behind him. But he is forced to remember every day as his leg, hip and back ache and his muscles tighten to compensate for his injuries. On his worst days, the pain requires him to rely on a cane.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf3001m3b6rqj9i170h@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            He has lost count of how many surgeries he\u2019s had over the last decade. He stopped counting at around 60.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf3001n3b6rho0f89es@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cI try to keep it out of my mind and keep pushing forward all the time,\u201d he said.\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8bqrk3000f3b6rtleel55m@published\" class=\"image_large-elevate vossi-image_large-elevate  image_large__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-name=\"2018-06-07T000000Z_717650949_RC17E9571B30_RTRMADP_3_FLORIDA-SHOOTING-LAWSUIT.jpg\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.6666666666666666\" data-original-height=\"2000\" data-original-width=\"3000\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-07t000000z-717650949-rc17e9571b30-rtrmadp-3-florida-shooting-lawsuit.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n<div class=\"image_large__container \" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image_large__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-07t000000z-717650949-rc17e9571b30-rtrmadp-3-florida-shooting-lawsuit.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-07t000000z-717650949-rc17e9571b30-rtrmadp-3-florida-shooting-lawsuit.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-07t000000z-717650949-rc17e9571b30-rtrmadp-3-florida-shooting-lawsuit.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-07t000000z-717650949-rc17e9571b30-rtrmadp-3-florida-shooting-lawsuit.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-07t000000z-717650949-rc17e9571b30-rtrmadp-3-florida-shooting-lawsuit.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-07t000000z-717650949-rc17e9571b30-rtrmadp-3-florida-shooting-lawsuit.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\" alt=\"Attorney Solomon Radner exits with Pulse nightclub survivor Keinon Carter, left, after a news conference in Orlando, Florida, US, June 7, 2018.\" class=\"image_large__dam-img image_large__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image_large__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"2000\" width=\"3000\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf3001o3b6rwkpp3bek@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Today, Carter is limited to working jobs that aren\u2019t physically demanding. He works an administrative job at a window installation company, but he aspires to own a restaurant in the near future.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf3001p3b6riw7c6pnh@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            What cuisine you may ask? \u201cThat\u2019s still my secret.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf3001q3b6rfx9kkfjb@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Carter has also spent time over the years learning the ins-and-outs of nonprofit businesses, hoping to open a center to support Black LGBTQ+ youth.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf3001r3b6rw95xegzc@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            He has learned through his recovery, he said, to \u201cjust take control of your own life, your own story, your own health, your own mental (health).\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf3001s3b6rfqxijjwe@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            As the 10-year mark approaches, Carter is ready to shut the door on what he describes as a \u201cchapter\u201d of his life.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72stf3001t3b6r9mqyandi@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cWhy do I need to keep it open?\u201d he said.\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8byayx000h3b6rbx54ulrv@published\" class=\"image-elevate vossi-image_elevate  image__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-name=\"060326-MA-US_PULSE-Survivors_Tiara-HIGHRES-thisone.jpg\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.75\" data-original-height=\"2250\" data-original-width=\"3000\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-tiara-highres-thisone.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\">\n<div class=\"image__container \" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-tiara-highres-thisone.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-tiara-highres-thisone.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1159\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-tiara-highres-thisone.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1159,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1093\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-tiara-highres-thisone.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1316\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-tiara-highres-thisone.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1316,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/060326-ma-us-pulse-survivors-tiara-highres-thisone.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\" alt=\"Tiara Parker gave birth to her son last month. \" my=\"\" son=\"\" will=\"\" know=\"\" what=\"\" happened=\"\" to=\"\" me=\"\" and=\"\" how=\"\" we=\"\" were=\"\" able=\"\" overcome=\"\" it=\"\" she=\"\" said.=\"\" class=\"image__dam-img image__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"2250\" width=\"3000\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x3nh00203b6r0f9h4tec@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Though Pulse had always prided itself on being a hot destination for Orlando\u2019s LGBTQ+ crowd, it also happily welcomed familiar locals, giggling bachelorette parties and out-of-towners who stepped through its doors.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea00223b6rxlfgyip3@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Tiara Parker, a 20-year-old from Philadelphia, was visiting Orlando on a family vacation, and initially didn\u2019t want to go to Pulse at all. She didn\u2019t want to go out anywhere, for that matter, preferring to stay in the rental condo and relax. But her 18-year-old cousin, Akyra Murray, and her friend, Patience Carter, convinced her to join them on a night out.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea00233b6rt3vwlth9@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cWhy not?\u201d thought Parker. They were on vacation, after all, and she had worked double shifts at her job as a public health educator so she could have extra money to spend.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea00243b6r9j8y785p@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Everything felt normal as the women danced to the club\u2019s \u201cLatin Night\u201d -themed DJ set and took turns recording grinning videos on their phones. As 2 a.m. approached, they discussed taking an Uber home.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea00253b6rj4galvyn@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            But at that moment, the sharp sounds of gunfire rang through the club. Parker froze, stunned and confused, while her cousin and friend sprinted for an exit. Realizing Parker was still inside, the women ran back into the building and the trio fled into a handicap bathroom stall, where they huddled with more than a dozen others.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea00263b6rvibaem6j@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            They sat petrified as they heard the gunman approach the stall door. They heard him curse: His semi-automatic rifle had jammed. But he pulled out another gun and fired into their stall. Tiara was hit in her side and her arm and had graze wounds on her hip and back. She was relieved to see Akyra had only been hit in her arms.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea00273b6rwonzfqjv@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            As the three women lay silently in the stall waiting for rescue, they formed a morbid Morse code, using their fingers to tap or scratch to let each other know they were still alive. The shooter went in and out of the bathroom, talking with hostage negotiators on the phone.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea00283b6rchsgvhko@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Finally, the women began to hear action outside as police screamed at them to get away from the walls, and used a BearCat to ram a hole in the wall. During a shootout between police and the gunman, Akyra was struck behind her ear with a bullet, Parker said. Akyra was later pronounced dead at the scene.\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8bykvb000j3b6r3nqzr7gs@published\" class=\"image-elevate vossi-image_elevate  image__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-name=\"02 orlando shooting 0613\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.6654645736105218\" data-original-height=\"3137\" data-original-width=\"4714\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/160613084639-02-orlando-shooting-0613.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\">\n<div class=\"image__container \" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/160613084639-02-orlando-shooting-0613.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/160613084639-02-orlando-shooting-0613.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1159\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/160613084639-02-orlando-shooting-0613.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1159,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1093\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/160613084639-02-orlando-shooting-0613.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1316\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/160613084639-02-orlando-shooting-0613.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1316,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/160613084639-02-orlando-shooting-0613.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\" alt=\"Police investigate the back of the Pulse nightclub in Orlando on Sunday, June 12. At least 49 people were killed there by Omar Mateen, who was shot and killed by Orlando police. It was the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history.\" class=\"image__dam-img image__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"3137\" width=\"4714\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea00293b6rlwpvxb98@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cMy cousin saved my life,\u201d Parker said. \u201cI knew I wasn\u2019t responsible for what happened to her. Anybody who knew me and knew who I was, they know I would never let nothing happen to her.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002a3b6rqt5aujrp@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Even so, Parker felt blame and guilt for her cousin\u2019s death. She felt Akyra\u2019s parents were so consumed by grief and anger that they resented Parker. Though the cousins were only two years apart in age, Parker was keeping an eye out for Akyra, who was the youngest victim to die inside Pulse.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002b3b6rmzzkxvgd@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            If Akyra had not returned to find her, Parker believes she likely would have died instead.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002c3b6rj68jmfgw@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cIt hurt. Survivor\u2019s guilt really took a toll on me,\u201d Parker said. \u201cIt broke my heart to have been blamed for my cousin\u2019s death, knowing that I would have did anything to make sure she was here.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002d3b6r8ltd9ndj@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Though Parker and Carter made it out alive, the shock of the shooting \u2013 and the physical trauma of lying still for hours with her wounds \u2013 took its toll. After she was carried out of the club, she found her legs would not move, even though they had not been hit. She had to go to physical therapy to recover her ability to walk.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002e3b6rb4jegfk0@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Searching for a way to distract herself, Parker returned to work just weeks after the shooting. Looking back, she now knows that was too soon.\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8c114r000l3b6rk33cev2w@published\" class=\"image_large-elevate vossi-image_large-elevate  image_large__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-name=\"Parker-5.jpg\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.7416666666666667\" data-original-height=\"2225\" data-original-width=\"3000\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/parker-5.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n<div class=\"image_large__container \" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image_large__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/parker-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/parker-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/parker-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/parker-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/parker-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/parker-5.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\" alt=\"Tiara Parker, left, says her cousin, Akyra Murray, right, was preparing to go to college and had expressed interest in studying criminology.\" class=\"image_large__dam-img image_large__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image_large__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"2225\" width=\"3000\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002f3b6rqysbi12l@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            For three years, she descended deeper into depression, pushing off thoughts of that night as much as she could. Her relationship with Akyra\u2019s parents and brother crumbled, she said, as they could not reconcile after the teenager\u2019s death.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002g3b6rtuno2b3j@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            She was adrift on an island of her own. Parker was surrounded by friends and family who were willing to do anything to help her recover, but none could understand the horror she had endured. Those who shared her trauma were nearly 1,000 miles away.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002h3b6ry03jc58c@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Finally, on a day in 2019, the weight of it all \u2013 the blame, the horrific flashbacks, the loss of Akyra \u2013 became too much. She could no longer push back the encroaching feeling that she did not want to live anymore.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002i3b6rwxfttnv4@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Parker collapsed under it all, finding herself in the throes of a nervous breakdown on the floor of her home in Philadelphia. She called her godsister and pleaded for her to come over and help.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002j3b6rhyw3ukcv@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cIt beat me down,\u201d Parker said. \u201cAs strong as I am, my strong wall fell, and I got tired, and that was the end for me.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002k3b6rz3qj1cp2@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            She sat in her room, knowing she had every right to sink into her grief.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002l3b6r2yv1uuwg@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cI realized, \u2018I cannot stay here,\u2019\u201d she said. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to stay there no more, and I was so serious about that, and I had to call myself out of a dark space.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002m3b6ryjkzzi0j@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            She threw herself into her passion for makeup artistry, a transition she said \u201csaved her life.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002n3b6rb9utfflt@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cBeing able to make up other people and make them feel beautiful \u2013 I learned that helping people is what makes me feel good,\u201d Parker said.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002o3b6r5g4ew5ib@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Part of Parker\u2019s recovery has included showing up for other mass casualty survivors in a way that only those who have experienced such a tragedy can.\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8c3eln000o3b6rs7oa9lwj@published\" class=\"image_large-elevate vossi-image_large-elevate  image_large__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-name=\"2018-06-13T034050Z_835440983_RC1B1638CBD0_RTRMADP_3_ORLANDO-SHOOTING-PROTEST.jpg\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.6483333333333333\" data-original-height=\"1945\" data-original-width=\"3000\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-13t034050z-835440983-rc1b1638cbd0-rtrmadp-3-orlando-shooting-protest.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n<div class=\"image_large__container \" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image_large__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-13t034050z-835440983-rc1b1638cbd0-rtrmadp-3-orlando-shooting-protest.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-13t034050z-835440983-rc1b1638cbd0-rtrmadp-3-orlando-shooting-protest.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-13t034050z-835440983-rc1b1638cbd0-rtrmadp-3-orlando-shooting-protest.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-13t034050z-835440983-rc1b1638cbd0-rtrmadp-3-orlando-shooting-protest.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-13t034050z-835440983-rc1b1638cbd0-rtrmadp-3-orlando-shooting-protest.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/2018-06-13t034050z-835440983-rc1b1638cbd0-rtrmadp-3-orlando-shooting-protest.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\" alt=\"Tiara Parker shares her story during a candlelight vigil to commemorate the two year anniversary of the shooting in Washington, DC on June 12, 2018.\" class=\"image_large__dam-img image_large__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image_large__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"1945\" width=\"3000\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002p3b6rhsw1uh8r@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Parker is the vice president of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.victimsfirst.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Victims First<\/a>, a nonprofit founded by mass casualty survivors. The board includes survivors of Pulse, a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnn.com\/2012\/07\/24\/us\/colorado-shooting-heroism\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">2012 theater shooting in Aurora<\/a> and the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnn.com\/2017\/10\/02\/us\/las-vegas-shooting-what-we-know\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">2017 Route 91 Harvest Festival<\/a> shooting in Las Vegas. When tragedy strikes in American communities, she flies in to help victims make sense of what happened to them and get financial assistance.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002q3b6rnd10xprs@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cSharing my story was also a big part of that,\u201d Parker said. She shows other victims, \u201cI am a real living being. \u2026 You can get through it.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002r3b6rcp7aoe31@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            While she acknowledges many survivors find shooting anniversaries painful, she said the occasion has invited her to appreciate how much she has overcome.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72x6ea002s3b6rs2in3tuc@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cIt definitely reflects how far I\u2019ve come as a person and as a survivor of such a tragic event, and how I was able to recover and rebuild my life after going through what I went through,\u201d she said.\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8d7ed600043b6ror6e1oui@published\" class=\"image_large-elevate vossi-image_large-elevate  image_large__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-name=\"banner.png\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.39125\" data-original-height=\"626\" data-original-width=\"1600\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/banner-20260610174901730.png?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n<div class=\"image_large__container \" data-image-variation=\"image_large\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image_large--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image_large__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/banner-20260610174901730.png?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/banner-20260610174901730.png?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/banner-20260610174901730.png?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/banner-20260610174901730.png?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"860\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/banner-20260610174901730.png?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/banner-20260610174901730.png?c=original&amp;q=w_860,c_fill\" alt=\"banner.png\" class=\"image_large__dam-img image_large__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image_large__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"626\" width=\"1600\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72y17c002w3b6rzv1au4kj@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            As an increasing number of American communities \u2013 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gunviolencearchive.org\/past-tolls\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">more than 4,000 and counting<\/a> \u2013 have fallen victim to mass shootings since 2016, survivors increasingly say their path to healing is one that may never be complete.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72y2xr002y3b6rd4g0l209@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            For the Pulse survivors who spoke to CNN, marking 10 years since the shooting has surfaced complicated emotions. Though they are mixed on whether they will participate in memorial events in Orlando, all said they will take time to honor their lost loved ones.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72y2xr002z3b6r2sydsnk6@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cHealing is not linear,\u201d said Wolf, who often <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnn.com\/videos\/us\/2021\/06\/12\/pulse-nightclub-shooting-survivor-5-years-after-attack-whitfield-intv-nr-vpx.cnn\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">shares his experience<\/a> as a survivor publicly. \u201cOrlando is a community that will probably never be fully healed.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72y2xr00303b6rnmfzu69q@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Every June 12, Wolf begins the day with ice cream for breakfast, he said, \u201cbecause we all deserve a sweet treat on the hard days.\u201d He then spends the morning flicking through photos and spending time with the friends Leinonen introduced him to \u201cwho have gotten me through the last 10 years.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72y2xs00313b6rz9xs71nq@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Parker, who recently gave birth to a son, has bowed out of attending memorial events this year so she can care for her baby. She visits Akyra\u2019s grave each year around the anniversary of her death. Her cousin, who was about to begin her first year of college, \u201cwould have been amazing,\u201d she said.\n    <\/p>\n<div data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/image\/instances\/cmq8c4u5e000q3b6r8bfvbmc1@published\" class=\"image-elevate vossi-image_elevate  image__hide-placeholder\" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-name=\"GettyImages-540944938.jpg\" data-component-name=\"image\" data-observe-resizes=\"\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\" data-original-ratio=\"0.6666666666666666\" data-original-height=\"2000\" data-original-width=\"3000\" data-url=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540944938.jpg?c=original\" data-editable=\"settings\">\n<div class=\"image__container \" data-image-variation=\"image\" data-breakpoints=\"{\" image--eq-extra-small=\"\">\n       <picture class=\"image__picture\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"679\" media=\"(max-width: 479px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540944938.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_679,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"967\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540944938.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_967,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1159\" media=\"(min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1023px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540944938.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1159,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1093\" media=\"(min-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1279px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540944938.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><source height=\"undefined\" width=\"1316\" media=\"(min-width: 1280px)\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540944938.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1316,c_fill\/f_webp\" type=\"image\/webp\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/gettyimages-540944938.jpg?c=original&amp;q=w_1093,c_fill\" alt=\"A woman writes a note on a cross for Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera at a memorial for the 49 victims of the shooting.\" class=\"image__dam-img image__dam-img--loading\" onload=\"this.classList.remove('image__dam-img--loading')\" onerror=\"imageLoadError(this)\" height=\"2000\" width=\"3000\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/source><\/picture>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72y2xs00323b6rlhssius4@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cI used to go sit at that grave site and I would be in full-fledged, ugly tears. Now, I go there and I talk to her as if she\u2019s standing right there with me,\u201d she said.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72y2xs00333b6rn8nq2fye@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Carter will drive from Orlando to visit his friend Brown\u2019s burial site for the first time. He hopes the pilgrimage will help him find a little more peace.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72y2xs00343b6rzav7z68f@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            Even after all this time, Carter struggles to speak about Brown.\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72y2xs00353b6re1x2q3jl@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            \u201cAll I can say about him: He was a true soldier. He was a real American patriot. He served for his country. That was the type of man he was.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<p class=\"paragraph-elevate inline-placeholder vossi-paragraph_elevate\" data-uri=\"cms.cnn.com\/_components\/paragraph\/instances\/cmq72y2xs00363b6rgrfog054@published\" data-editable=\"text\" data-component-name=\"paragraph\" data-article-gutter=\"true\">\n            After a long pause, Carter added, \u201cand a damn good friend.\u201d\n    <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><br \/>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Summary Ten years after the Pulse nightclub shooting that killed 49 people, survivors share their ongoing journeys through physical and<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":33215,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_animmysite_disable_animation":false,"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/media.cnn.com\/api\/v1\/images\/stellar\/prod\/20260610-pulse-survivors-split.jpg?c=16x9&q=w_800,c_fill","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[214],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-usa-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33214"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33214\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/33215"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trendifyhubusa.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}